im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
