I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
