I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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