i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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