i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
