If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
As shirtless as possible
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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