the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
