apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
