Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
try to milk me bitch
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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