Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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