Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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