Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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