belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
