Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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