I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
