Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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