You made me cry and you don't even care
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
