toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
