After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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