I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
