i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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