Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
