yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
