So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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