For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
