scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
