ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
