When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
