I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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