my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
