Yo dont text me then not text me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
