i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
im on a boat
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