I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
