When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
