Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
