I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
