i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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