I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
