Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Say something about gay babies.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
