Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
