My friends, they love my intelligence
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
