Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
