$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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