Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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