Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
