you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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