Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
