Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize