He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I need to align my fucking chakras
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
