i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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