i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think my vagina is haunted
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
