I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
